smiling from inside and out.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

im such a bitch.

i dont want t hurt, or t be hurt.
but i always end up making stupid decisions.
which caused tears t me&others.
i love you,cherish you,and want you.
but things doesnt always go my way.

im so selfish.
i cant bear t leave you.
but,i fell very suffocated.

if you haven realised,you have changed.

you are no longer th boy who thinks that simply.
maybe i have changed you unknowingly.
maybe i made you think you have t change for me.
but you have changed t someone i cant understand.
th things you do makes me wonder for long hours.

i dont expect you t put me as your first piority..
but many times you do things which left me out.
i told myself i can overcome all my emotions.
but i cant do it anymore.
i love you,and so i dont want t hurt you.

many times thru this r/s, im th one crying.
even thou you apologised,and i forgave you..
you never changed.

i have t admit,you had been quite sweet t me this few days.
maybe you sense th fear in me.
or th distance within us.
or just maybe,you are true abt being sweet.
but,im scared.
dont ask me th reason.
if you know why,thats good.
i had been having nightmares.

im sorry,but i cant take it anymore.

its so painful.
i felt so miserable.
but i know that if i dont do this,i will end up hurting you.
i love you but not enough t kill myself.
if you really love me,let me go.

its for th best.
im not th girl for you.
im unreasonable,not understanding,not concerned,not gentle,not pretty.
im everything a guy wouldnt want as a girlfriend.
dont be sad because of me.
cos im trying hard not t feel sad over you.
its tiring t cry.
its even tiring t hold on t a r/s whh wont issit gng well.

im really tired.
maybe i had been giving in too much.
now i felt so lost i want t give up.
im sorry for th selfish decision made.
im sorry for not being able t last long with you.
im sorry for making you what you are now.
im sorry.

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♥5.4.08