Garnier brightening eye roll-on.
itouch.
new mj tiles. headphones.
better job. CHOMP2! ben&jerry's celebrate 17th w/ all. :D go zoo go kbox
go clubbing
go drinking Hannah Montana Monster VS Alien
Transformer Drag me to hell Ghost of girlfriend's past I love you, man
Harry Potter 6
The Proposal
updated song. say goodbye-chris brown. credits t my good bad friend JULIAN.
There's never a right time to say goodbye But I gotta make the first move 'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you Girl it's not you, it's me I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh) There's never a right time to say goodbye But we know that we gotta go Our separate ways And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,And it's killing me Cause there's never a right time Right time to say goodbye
this is th video i owe you guys. enjoy it. my classmates laughed alot when they watched it. so you better!
im afraid that i'll hurt you.what if everything now is so much different from before?i cant say that i totally changed.but i guess,i changed.i tried t love you like how i used to.so obsessed with you.but,i couldnt.im sorry.i want you.but i cant find th spark btwn us.i would agree to everything just to make you just like you were before.thats why.but i dint thought of th consequences..it hurts me t see you upset.but it hurts me even more t know that im th cause of it.and now,i guess i worsen it.i've deepen th wound.
now im so confused.what should i do?i had indeed made another stupid decision.i had told myself so firmly that i will be strong even w/o you.but in th end,i suprised them w/ this foolish thing.im such a bitch.i want you t be happy.i know that you'll be truly happy only when you're with me. but th thing is that,i'll be sacrificing myself.i dint think so much initially.but later i started t regret.you're not bad.not bad as in not a "bad" guy "bad".its just that after all this, i realised that you're just not th guy for me.
sure,you love me. but thats not enough.i need someone t care for me.someone who understands me.someone who can share my burdens.someone who can truly protect me from all th hurts and misery.
but that will definitly not be you.
im sorry but i have t admit..we're not gonna be together forever.
today is a sunday. the 20th. sunday the 20th is not an unlucky day. its just another boring day.
gaaahhs,fucking lame. going t sasa house t finalise th english news report project. we finished alr. but th videos cant be edited. fuckfuckfuck.
hope all turns out well today. im so in looooov with my current blogskin. its so pretty. thou it would be prettier in red. ohhwell,im not th creater of this so..
shall blog when i come back later. hopfully with th video posted up.(:
if you find out about it,you shouldnt be angry. why would you be anyway? you dont give a damn about me. okay,maybe you do care. but not t tht extend. since you dont like me,why should i bother? i dont see why i should be bother if you like me or not. i dont think you'll read this anyway. but if any of your good friend managed t see this,they might tell you. but i have t admit,you're great.
came back from dinner already. took a long time t decide on venue of dinner. decided on sakae sushi in th end. bryan&nic is soo cute lurh they cant stop making me laugh. esp bryan. he's accent is soo angmoh. plus when he tries t speak chinese. its hilarious.
nic have t leave aft th dinner. so bryan left with him.
wnt daiso with claris in th end... quite fun luhh.
changed my blogskin. looove this. dont ask me why. its filled with hearts! thats why.
its 19 today. sasa's 2mth anni. congrats&last long.
its just another miserable day for me. gng for a farewelll dinner with bryan claris and nicolas. bryan will be leaving singapore on 3may. i'll miss him.
i guess i'll just go prepare. since we're like meeting 6.30 at serangoon mrt station! gosh,im late again..
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY T CLARIS&BRYAN! so sorry i couldnt celebrate your birthdays! had extra remedials so couldnt make it.
went ikea for dinner w/ claris as a make-up birthday dinner yesterday. ordered lots of food and ate like a pig. claris was like, "wahh,so much food. pig lehh!" LOL.i dont eat alot. but i eat abit of everything. cos i cant make up my mind what t eat marh.. sent her back t pasir ris aft dinner since her dad cant fetch her home. this smart girl told me tht th bus we took can bring me t pasir ris mrt. but,when i asked th driver,he told me its gng t changi airport. *&^#%@!#*^&!!!
smart. heng i got down before it reaches changi.
had maths remedial today. test& gng thru of answers for previous homework. sat beside cs as normal. was hestitating if i should sit nxt t mingteck or him. but decided t sit beside him. i dont want him t think other ways. is super duper ultra odd sitting thr.. i can feel eyes staring at me... but still.. he made me wonder if we broke up alr. cos everything he did,its like nothing happened. but i cant pretend that nothing happened. we broke up and thats that. i've hurt him. i rather he hates me then t pretend that he is fine. i rather he ignores me then t be nice t me.
i feel so stress and confused around him now. i dont want t do anything that will cause him anymore hurt. i cried during th maths remedial. i cant stop th tears. they had t come down there and then. but i turned th other way so tht he wont see..
had quite alot of fun at claris's birthday party yesterday. once we reached there we felt so out of place. all of them are sec1s!
and we th sec4 SENIORS,sat at one table,isolated from them.
LOL.
claris came t sit with us,and her dad kept giving us food.
i was saying that her father dotes on her alot. cause he's trying t bribe us with food t takecare of his daughter in school.
played truth or dare among ourselves.
its like so funny lurh. most of th dares are suggested by me. but once its on meryl,idk what t dare or ask her about. lol. i dared meryl t finish a big piece of otah in one mouth. >.<
we kept teasing xiuyuan&claris. made xy call up * as a dare,and shout "hi" t one of th girls on th 2nd floor acting cute. made clar call ** and say imy. and i got dared t ask one of th girls if im cute.
of cos she said i am,but she said sumting else too...
"you're cute! but im cuter.." =.=''' sian diao lurh. but she's very cute. LOL.
went home soon after.
im figuring our how t get t young musician society auditiorium. gng for stgab choir concert later on. (:
these days had been much better i guess. not much of th cryings and more of th laughing. thats a good thing.
after th foolish/stupid/childish/selfish action of mine,i've hurt not only myself,but also my close friends. i realised that now th world doesnt revolves just around me. it concern everyone around. i felt ultra bad after seeing th dissappointed on each of my friends' faces. esp vanessa. after sihui shouted loudly, "KRISTLE! WHAT TH FUCK YOU DOING?!" all of them crowded around me t see what happened. they thn realised that i cut myself.
at th moment whr i cut myself,i dint feel any pain. not at all. but when i see th dissappointment&upset from them, i felt th pain. right then, i felt th pain in their hearts.
it had been so irony. t think that i had been th one, who goes t them and stop them from hurting themselves, smoking & stuffs. i never expected myself t do it anyway. girlfriends brought me t th toilet and started t talk t me. i cried so much while each of them took turns t hug me. th only thing i did was t apologise t them. and they dint blame me.
went out with meryl aft sch. bought this denim jumper from pull and bear which costed me like 70bucks? speaking of saving money.. dint really buy much things. anyway,on our way back t her house,i saw this cute guy. i was talking t meryl halfway when i saw him.
i stopped and squeezed meryl's arm,"MERYL! THAT GUY!" and he turned out t be th young actor Aloysious Pang. i noticed his red contacts first,then realised that its him. i took a long time t calm down ehh. dint know his name at first,till meryl told me. LOL,we were crapping so much lurh. meryl kept asking me if i want get his no. LOL,am i that despo? ;D
once during assembly. cried on sasa's back. thanks sasa for your back. thou i made your shirt wet.
2nd time was during maths. i was okay initially but broke dwn aft awhile. thanks JOJO&sihui&julian. thanks sihui for your hug.
3rd time was at space during art remedial. emo-ed. thanks jiahui for giving me tissue t wipe my tears. &for pei-ing me t hg mall.
4th time was at th 72busstop. suddenly missed t time whr he sends me home. jiahui&kwenboon sent me t th busstop and pei me wait for my bus. thanks buddy.
5th time when i reached home. mum offered me a hug. and i cried. sorry mama for worrying you. i promised t study hard for my olvls. everything else can come after that.
i guess its really hard t let go. but i must. takecare my dear. you'll always be my darling.
i dont want t hurt, or t be hurt. but i always end up making stupid decisions. which caused tears t me&others. i love you,cherish you,and want you. but things doesnt always go my way.
im so selfish. i cant bear t leave you. but,i fell very suffocated.
if you haven realised,you have changed.
you are no longer th boy who thinks that simply. maybe i have changed you unknowingly. maybe i made you think you have t change for me. but you have changed t someone i cant understand. th things you do makes me wonder for long hours.
i dont expect you t put me as your first piority.. but many times you do things which left me out. i told myself i can overcome all my emotions. but i cant do it anymore. i love you,and so i dont want t hurt you.
many times thru this r/s, im th one crying. even thou you apologised,and i forgave you.. you never changed.
i have t admit,you had been quite sweet t me this few days. maybe you sense th fear in me. or th distance within us. or just maybe,you are true abt being sweet. but,im scared. dont ask me th reason. if you know why,thats good. i had been having nightmares.
im sorry,but i cant take it anymore.
its so painful. i felt so miserable. but i know that if i dont do this,i will end up hurting you. i love you but not enough t kill myself. if you really love me,let me go.
its for th best. im not th girl for you. im unreasonable,not understanding,not concerned,not gentle,not pretty. im everything a guy wouldnt want as a girlfriend. dont be sad because of me. cos im trying hard not t feel sad over you. its tiring t cry. its even tiring t hold on t a r/s whh wont issit gng well.
im really tired. maybe i had been giving in too much. now i felt so lost i want t give up. im sorry for th selfish decision made. im sorry for not being able t last long with you. im sorry for making you what you are now. im sorry.
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